I'm so tired.....

I'm so tired, mommy.....

Mischa learn to walk

She was just 10 months old when she did this action.

Mischa at the park

Mischa is playing joyfully at the park, but she's hearing another child crying. So, she's curious where that sounds come from

Not in English or Dutch

Waaaaaa......udah mulai tahun baru lagi....2008! Ga terasa kalau waktu cepat berlalu. Rasanya baru kemarin merit, rasanya baru kemarin kursus kewarganegaraan, rasanya baru kemarin melahirkan.....

Ga henti2nya gue mengucap syukur sama Yang Berkuasa di Atas Sana....begitu banyak berkat yang Dia berikan ke gue tahun-tahun terakhir ini. Kalau ditanya apakah gue bahagia: "Yap, gue bahagia banget...." Rasanya apa yang gue terima sampai saat ini sudah cukup. Tidak kurang tapi juga tidak berlebihan. Gue takut kalau berlebihan, nanti gue malah jadi melupakan Dia....

Tapi terus terang, tantangan dan hambatan tetap ada. Seperti misalnya, pergi ke gereja....Pingin ke gereja, tapi malas. Pingin ke gereja, tapi takut salah pilih. Pingin ke gereja, tapi yang sekaligus bahasa Indo dan bahasa Belanda, dimana? Pingin ke gereja, tapi...tapi..tapi....banyak tapinya.

Jadi merasa bersalah....Gue banyak menerima berkat, tapi mau ke gereja aja, susah banget....

Mudah2an, tahun ini akhirnya gue bisa ke gereja, dan secara teratur.

This will be my New Year Resolution!

Mischa Gabriella is born!

Sjonge...jonge...jonge....godallemachtig....! That's what Dutch people say whenever they experience something out of their expectation.

And I have to say that over and over......

My due date to deliver the baby was May 12th. And according to those medical expert here, it's still ok if you're late up to 2 weeks. It's still normal.

But I've already had enough! And without my expectation, from the last control to the midwife on May 16th, they found out that I've had high blood pressure, and there's trace of protein which can cause to the pregnancy poisonous. Therefore they sent me to the hospital for further analysis. And again without my expectation, after they took my blood and urine sample, they decided that I had to stay in the hospital for thorough analysis until friday the 18th.

Luckily, on friday they came up with conclusion that everything is okay with me.

Do you expect that I'm happy???

No, because they told me that despite everything is fine, I still have to stay in the hospital until the delivery moment.

Yeah right, I said, until when then I have to stay in the hospital?? Nobody knows, off course!!

But then they give me an option about a labour induce. And I said: OK, let's do that!

And you know what happen next??? From saturday morning 8 am, i got that gel for the labor induce, and the cervi was still 1. On Sunday morning 8 am, the cervix is still 1. Actually, it should be 1 cm every 1 hour. That's why, they added the doses of the induce. From that time on, the cervix is 3 at 3 pm. And finally they bring me to the labor room. At 7 pm they decided to start the delivery, because the cervix is now 9. You need the cervix 10 to have a delivery. In the meantime, all the pain that I had to suffer, I couldn't bear anymore. Then they gave me the painkiller. But hell no, it made me only sleep....yet I still could feel the pain of contractions.

The first trial to deliver began. After 3 x 3 pushes, they decided that they couldn't deliver the baby because the baby gave no sign to come out. So, they had to call the gynaecologist to help them. Why?? Yes, because they were going to use the pomp to pull out the baby!!!! And only the gynaecologist may do that.

Omigod!!! Those thing came to my "thing".......

And finally, again after 3 x 3 pushes, come MISCHA GABRIELLA ter BRAAK to the world!!

And funny, all the pain is suddenly gone when she was on my chest...........

Oh yeah, what a moment..

But I'm happy above of all.....I'm proud to be able to bring a child to the world.....

And now let the time tell, how would I raise her....together with my lovely husband, Joris....

Welcome MISCHA, daddy and mommy love you!

Pulang (holiday's report 4 - The end)

Finally, I had to go back to where I live now, Netherlands. But before that, I made a chance to visit my ex college somewhere in East Jakarta. Some are just the way they are before, but some have changed to another situation....Marriage, having children, a new home, a new fashion style, a new title, etc....



Right, people have to change forward....that's what we call the dynamics of life......

My Beautiful Indonesia (holiday's report 3)

We went to Lombok, and what funny is, that's my first time to go there. Joris my husband has been there for a while.

Yes, as the citizen of a land, it's often happened that we did'nt go a lot to places in our own land. Joris has never been to Keukenhof until he met me. I never went to Lombok if I'm not married him ( I guess.... :-) )

But anyway, Lombok is a beautiful tiny island, along the Indian ocean, the neighbour of Bali island. Don't expect that you'll find a lot of shopping centres there. It's just a place for people who wants to escape from the daily busy life. There you can enjoy the white sandy beach, giving food to the local apes, or climbing the rinjani mountain. Yes, it's basically a nature trip.

I'm glad, that Lombok is not (yet fully) contaminated by the commercial way of tourism industry. Not too much street (beach) seller, the sea is still clean and there you can still eat the fish which taste so nice because it's still fresh and not contaminated by sea pollution, and the people are impressive. They are expecting not much from the tourist, and they can already very thankfull if they got tip no matter how small it is. Are they still naive??

Yeah, maybe not everybody there is suitable to what I write here....but at least, that's what I feel about them...Lombok and the people.

I'm glad that I've been visiting Lombok (for the first time), although at first we were worried about going there because of a lot of public transport accidents (Adam Air flight, Senopati ferry, etc)

I'm glad that I still can enjoy the friendliness of Lombok, although I'm not sure yet about it for the next (at least) 5 years.

But, to add here also, I'm very sad and wondering why is this beautiful Indonesia has to suffer on and on the nature disaster. Tsunami, earthquake, landslide, floods.....you name it.......

The time that I was on my vacation in Indonesia, 40% from the local news was about the nature disaster in a lot of places in Indonesia....and it seems still going on until now with another new places....

My beautiful Indonesia, why?

Santa Claus at home (holiday's report 2)

I was thinking....hmm, since my husband is a white man, and we're coming for christmas holiday in Indonesia, why don't we make use of him????

Ya ha....he became a santa claus at christmas day.....So, we invited the whole family with little children....and we gave them christmas presents....


This is the first time in my life that I've organized such a occassion...and don't ask me how it feels....It's superb! There were families that we didn't see for such a long time, and suddenly they appeared to you, and you could see them how are they growing up!

I know, not everybody can feel the lucky life I've had...but once in a while, it's awesome to share that with them, at least to our own (big) family....

I don't know if I can do it again some other time...but at least for now, I feel more and more thankfull to God, that I could do such (small) thing.

Ayam Bakar (holiday's report 1)

The longer you leave your own country, the more you appreciate what you are left behind. At least, that's what I feel when I stepped down again in the Indonesian's earth.

After a 1 (one) day delayed flight from schiphol, and 5 (five) hours transfer time in Hongkong, I finally went out the custom's desk in Soekarno Hatta - Jakarta, and then seeing my parents.

And the first meal I had in Jakarta is Ayam Bakar with Sambal Terasi, and Lalap......oh, what a heaven! I didn't say that I couldn't have that in Holland....but still, the taste is different if you eat it in its original atmospheer....yummy yummy......

And then we went through the neighbourhood that I used to be grown up.
Allemachtig!! After only 1,5 years being left behind, it's standing there in Depok 3 (three) new supermalls, a lot more small shops, a lot more food tents, etc. The memory about Indonesia, especially the busy Jakarta came again......yessss.......TRAFFIC JAM!!!

Oh, how I "miss" it alot, then...People build more shopping centres, but they have forgotten about how to minimize the after effects: traffic jams, crowded and filthy area, polluted air......

The longer you leave your own country, the more you appreciate what you are left behind. I still love Indonesia, though.....foremost the Ayam Bakar......

Pulang Kampung (Going Home)

Oh, I can't wait anymore. I should've already sitting in the flight by dec 20....But, I hope it was earlier....

Naahh..I have to wait anyway...and it's not long anymore.....Hurray!!

What will I do when I get home?? Hmm, not know much, actually, because I've heard that my hometown is changed drastically since I left it 1,5 year ago...Yeah, only one and half year ago!

All I've heard is that my hometown is occupied by more and more and more shopping centres, more busses, more angkot (city transportation).....

I can't imagine how busy is the main street in my hometown.

Ah, it was just 1,5 year ago that I still could enjoy (huh, enjoy??) the busy street in that capital city....it took me about 2 and half hour to go to my work, which the distance is only about 32 km. I needed to drive alot just to go to the place with the distance of 5 km. Waiting, taking and finally driving with the bus cost me extra 1 hour and a wet cloth (not to mention the smell of the sweat).

But, I miss that though...in sense for the adventure....

Too bad, not everybody there sees it as adventurous....that's their daily life....

Ah, I miss my hometown either way....and I'm ready to take the train from my hometown, to another suburb area, together with those beggars, teh botol man, orange sellers, etc.

Hurray, I'm going home......for vacation.....